The world has a few flaws that make it so much prettier and interesting.

We all love to blame everyone else.
I try. I try to, every time I do something bad. Something bad on my standards that is.
Inside I know it's my fault. Inside I hate every single little possible thing. Inside my little head I doubt everything. Every single thing. Not a moment goes by with out doubt or hate. But also, I try to see the good in everything, and I do usually. But there is a problem. I focus on the bad things. The good things are good, they don't need to be fixed or changed, other people give them enough attention, right?
If we just held up ourselves and didn't mind anyone else, could we support ourselves?
If I'm mean enough, will everyone go away?
Do I want everyone to go away?
Would I be happy? Would I cry?
How would they feel?
Would it matter to them, would they move on?
Do I care if they are happy?
Why?
Why does it matter, we all end up in the dirt anyways?
Am I insane?
What do you think?
Will I agree, just to keep the peace?
Does peace exist, where each side is just as happy as the other, harmony?
Will the fear and the hate and the doubt grow?
Will it ever stop?
Will it burst through all the walls locking it next to me?
Will it escape and hurt everyone else?
Am I fucking crazy?
Yes.
No.

Hello.
Ha you might think I'm falling apart. I'm not. I've been in pieces for a while now. I think it's better that way. It's a puzzle something to distract from the horrid thing that it is.

Anyways. Let's not speak in tongues.

Today I woke up. After dreaming. I hate dreaming. This dream wasn't bad though, not compared to others. I was on the side of the road, (I had had this dream before, so I knew that soon a woman would pull up, put a gun to my head, drag me to her car, knock me out. Then I'd wake up in a cement room and she would shoot me.) This time though I ran. Thinking I didn't want to be killed. After say 10 minutes I decided to go back. On the way I saw another woman, she was running. Then I saw my killer in her fancy car turn the corner. I ran with the other woman. I was in the lead. The killer was chasing us on foot now through a trail in the woods. Being in the lead I thought the killer would just take the woman. The killer leaped to me and knocked me over, the woman kept running. I gave up. She dragged my to her car knocked me out. I woke up in the same cement room. She had a gun. Quickly I grabbed it. She was saying "you give the fucking gun to me. you wouldn't fucking shoot me." I said no and pointed it at myself. She started laughing, "this is fucking pathetic, you are going to kill myself? I should have just gotten the other girl, she wold have been easier to kill...if you were going to put up a fight. I wanted a challenge." She kept laughing and I said "I'm not going to let you kill me. You don't need to blacken your hands anymore. I'll do it. You won't let me leave alive anyways, even though I have the gun." Then I killed myself and woke up.
After that I did just about nothing. Took some photos with my papas film camera. :)
Some other stuff happened to. But I can write about it later. It's not so important.

Goooood bye dear people.
:) Spread the smiles, don't forget.