Fight...

...with all your might, to keep the peace. It's breaking. Breaking into little bits. We need a little piece over here please? We can stretch it across the country if that is the only way to get some... We need you. Must we do it on our own? We will, if we haven't another choice. A little help, any, would be appreciated greatly.
Love, your biggest enemy.
P.S.
I love you, even if I seem ungrateful. Sorry about that. We've been at war around here from the lack of your presence. If you can forgive, I'll gladly hold your hand again.


Hello. :)

Today has been odd. I don't know. I have much to much coffee in my system right now. :) haha
Lets see. So I slept terrible. Trying to make peace. But I can't decide. Not on one simple little thing. Other then I'm insane. I laid there. I just thought.
Why?
Why? Why why why why why.
You would have too. Let it go.
Yell. Scream.
Shut up.
What now? Do I do what I always do? Run. Run from everything.
What do I do. Nothing. Everything.
Scream. Cry.
Stop. Stupid. Dumb dumb dumb.
Trust.
No. No I can't.
Why?
I'm stupid. Don't talk to me.
You're fucking crazy.
I know. I know. I know. Fuck.
Stop it. It's not a big deal.
Yes it is.
Why?
I don't know. Maybe it isn't. So why?
I don't want to hurt.
Then don't. You don't need to. It's not necessary.
Anyways... thats what I spent the majority of the night doing in my little mind. (I'm sorry Duck. You don't want to know that. :) forgive me?)
Then morning came. Family left. Watched my little brother. Didn't do any homework... Little brother screamed and yelled and hit me every time I asked him to do anything. :/ I love him though. Duck and I talked. Fought I guess would be more appropriate. I'm sorry, again. I mostly was fighting with myself. :) Ha... Sorry.
Then a friend came over. I'm glad. I trust myself more with people around. I know I didn't want to drink. I would have failed then. I probably would have if she was either okay with drinking or not there. Maybe not. I'll never know. It's not important though. I didn't. Which is awesome! haha... sorry. coffee. haha.. :)
I forgive Duck. I do. I'm afraid though.... of a lot of things.

Hmm... What else? Circles. I haven't spoken to him for a week or something. Which is good. Thinking about him makes me want him. I don't want to want him. I just love fighting myself, eh? It probably seems that way. Haha... :)

Goooood night. Coffee. Was probably not something I should have had so much of. :D haha
SPREAD THE SMILES. :) It's important to keep people happy. Keep them thinking though tooooooooooooo.
I love you. :) Night. Bye. Ha! Done now.