Bad Habits.

I have quite a few.

Hello. :)

So one of my bad habits is drinking. I do it for two reasons.
To numb feelings.
For fun.
My best friend, is okay with drinking, but only if it's a little. And my other close friends are mostly against it. But like 70% of the people I know drink a lot. Soo... I don't know. I'm like my best friend, I don't mind if you do it a little, but it bothers me if you drink a lot and get drunk often. Though, I can't really say that because I drink more then I'm okay with. Not lately though. :) Well, I need to keep it this way.

Another bad habit is I tend to focus on all the bad things. I do it because, the bad things need to be fixed and the good doesn't need attention, it is already fixed.

I also push people away.
When I think they will hurt me.
When they get close.
When they start to back away even the slightest bit.
If I make a mistake, so they won't know.
When I think they deserve someone better then me in their life.
I know it's bad. I should fight to keep people. But I'm so scared. And I know it's selfish. To push people away because I'm scared. I am quite selfish though. I'm working on it. I know, I should fight or at least try to fight to keep people. But...I wish someone would fight for me. And I guess they do. But I wish someone would fight to keep me more than I do to push them away. But I guess it's easier to push away than to keep someone who wants to leave. I know. I know it's really stupid. I ought to stop. I'm scared. So scared. I don't want to be hurt. In the end though, I just hurt myself. I'm sorry. To all of you who I have push away.

One more, I judge everyone, on one persons actions. If one person acts one way, I expect everyone to act that way. I'm sorry. Often people do act the same, but it often makes it so I don't even give people a chance. :/

Alright.... I have many many more. But I think thats enough negativity for one post. :)

My weekend has been good. Except I should have spent a little more time doing my homework. But it's all good. Haha Friday I went to the movies with a friend. Saturday I drove my moms car and went shopping. And I got lots of cute new things! And then in the evening I went to my best friends show. It was so good! Yesterday I did a little homework, but I mostly read and cleaned. You can finally see the floor in my room. :) Haha then some friends came and slept over and we eat a ton of sugar. :) And then today they stayed till about 14:00 (yeah... I use Europes time stuff. :) haha) then I cleaned and I have been slowly doing homework.

Goodnight. I must do my homework. Be a good student.
Spread the smiles, my friends. :D