Guessing Games.

I hate them. I'm always wrong. Always.
Everything. Everything is a guessing game.
What am I supposed to do now? This? That?
Should I be mad? Should I forgive?
What can I say? Who can I trust?
I'm wrong. It's not the right answer.
What will happen if I don't guess right?
Does it matter?
Everything is a fucking guessing game. Life is. I hate it. I'm wrong.
I just want to be right. Just once... I can doubt all I fucking want, but if I could just be right once.

Good afternoon or evening or morning. I don't know when you read this. :)

Everyone I know who smokes acts so fucking dumb. It bothers me. They don't care about anything. I encountered many of them today. :( It makes me sad. Why do they waste time on such stupid things? I don't care if people smoke like once or twice. But every day? Every week? Every month? Maybe I'm insane and shouldn't care, I'm trying. I'm sorry that I can't decide. I'm stuck. Right here. I don't wanna move. I don't wanna change what's so close to falling. The glass is tipping but I'm too far away and I'm not sure which way it will fall.

I'm sorry. I'm trying.

It's like a song.
A beautiful rhythm to depend on.
Like the beats of our heart. It keeps us going.
Until...
Miss one. Skip one. Mess up a few.
I'm scared.
What am I supposed to do...
What happens if I make a mistake...
They are piling up.
I can't keep it up. I will drown in the music.
I will pull it all down.
A beautiful rhythm to depend on. But it's falling apart.
Can I skip over a few beats and still catch the rhythm?
Will that fuck up everything? If I'm ahead a few beats, and you are still behind?
Am I doing this wrong? I think I am.
How do I rewind?
Help me please? The button is outside, while I am locked in.
Can you fix this fucking problem?
I can't. I can't. I can't.
I don't like that part of the song.
I don't know how it goes.
Can we all just jump a few beats ahead and pray the listeners won't catch my mistake?
I have to. So we must.
One. Two. Three. Four. One. Two. Three. Four.
Five.
One. Two. Three. Four. One. Two. Three. Four...
So I'm sorry if you can hear the missed beats.
I'm sorry if you caught us breaking these laws.
I'm sorry if you know.
Please keep quiet.

:) That is what I make of this. Each situation is a different song. Slightly different beat. Slightly different sound. Some belong together, some don't.

Anyways... I love my photo teacher. He reminds me of my old school. Where teachers actually care. Where they appreciate effort. Where they actually want to get to know you. I love that class too. It's so much fun! It's hardly a class. Haha we just wander around. It's lovely. Ha I'm done.

I have a FUCKING LOT of homework. Because I have been a bad student lately. 2 chem assignments, 1 math, a history chapter outline, a quiz, and a study guide. All are late and I haven't started any. Haha fuck. And then I have all my normal homework. :) I'm kind of stupid sometimes.

This is getting long.... haha. Sorry.
Spread the smiles. :) Goodbye.