Purple. It's my favorite color.

Yep! It is! So is black. Shutup it is a color.

Hello.
I stayed home *sick* today. :)

Secrets. I hate them. But I have so many of my own. Some that a few people know and some that only I know. We all have some. They make me do things I wish I didn't have to. I lie to hide them nearly every day. Or I avoid certain subjects or people or things. Just little things, I guess. It used to really drive me crazy. All the secrets swimming through my mind. These days I don't care too much though. Only sometimes. I guess it was worse then too. I had to lie more and I was more emotionally attached.
Lately, I have been telling more then normal. I don't like it. It makes me scared. A lot.
Fear is what drives me. It controls me. I'm sorry, I'm working on it.

Today, was good. I was home all day. Slept bad but eh... I always do. I woke up, told my dad I felt kind of sick. 2 hours later my mom woke up and I was scared she'd make me go to school and be mad, but she was to busy to really do anything. And I never say when I'm sick so they basically always believe me when I say I am. :)
Then I just hide under the covers for most of the morning. Finally I got up and did some of my homework. It was a break from school that was very needed. I'm glad.

My mother is mad. She hates valentines. She's kind of mean. :/ whatever though. It's not a big deal.

Hmmm... I don't know what to think. About anything really. Everyone is happy and everyone is sad.

Judging. I do it. Lots. :/ Only to people I don't know, and to myself. People I don't know, they don't scare me. I don't know them. How would they even know if I judge them, it's not like I spread rumors or whatever. And my self? I'm not scared of me either. I know what I can do. But those I know? I'm afraid. Of losing them. Of hurting them. Of disappointing them. Of not being enough for them. I'm scared. Really scared. Of so many things. So I don't judge them. I love them. Sometimes they bother me. But then, I must be doing something wrong, not them. I dunno. Hmm...

It all comes back to fear. All of it.

Okay. Well goodnight. :)
Spread the smiles.
I don't know.
Be happy.
Think.
Live.
:)