is a terrible word. It is hardly ever used appropriately. Well... I was taught, that to say sorry, means that you will try to make it better and not do it again. If that is not what you intend to do, don't say sorry. That's just what I've learned. You don't have to agree, that's just what I think. People say sorry, and they go do it again. And, I guess I should just learn that other people have a different meaning of sorry. But I still..idk.. expect it. Bleh. I don't want your sympathy or whatever, if you aren't going to try to fix it, does that make sense? Or am I crazy? I dunno.
Hello!
Staying with Sunshine was fun! Her family is so much different than I had expected. But it was pretty fun... We went ice staking, and then near 10 we went back to her house. We talked about all sorts of things. It was fun. When we went to her house we had a little dinner/snack thing. Ha then her parents went to bed. We continued to talk about more stuff and didn't go to bed till like 4 or so. We had a few drinks, and started playing this game, where you spread out your fingers, and then try to stab the space between your fingers... It's hard to play even when sober, so haha yeah. Our fingers are a little beat up. Mine aren't as bad, I didn't do it as much as she.
Anyways.. I dunno. I don't like drinking. But I do it. So... I'm kind of a hypocrite. I know I shouldn't... :/ meh... I don't know.
I think I care to much. If I am supposed to care this much, why does it hurt so bad? I'm being punished for caring, I ought to learn not to.
I don't know. Am I wrong? Right? What? I don't know, what do you say?
My best friend is so hurt. She's trying to not just pause her life but she seems to be so lost. I dunno how to help.. I wish she didn't have to go through this.
Hmm... :/ I don't know. I need to work on myself a bit. I'm kind of getting to be someone I hate. Hate much much much more then I already do. I need to be away. Away so I can get my head together again. Aim to be a better person.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Hate drives me to do all the things I say I won't. All the things I don't agree with.
I'm sorry. I know I'm not such a good person. Not that that makes it better. People just ought to stay away from me. But people give me to many chances. Way to many chances.
Kay... I am going to do my homework now. So Spread the smiles and such.
:)
I remember what it was like to live in the middle of an emotional storm. You can get tossed around like a little boat in a wild sea.
ReplyDeleteAll you can do is hang on and ride it out. Storms (and confusion and hurt and anger) don't last forever.
It just seems like it. ;)
You're an intelligent person, Elsa. And it seems to me that you have a strong core. You'll figure things out. :)