Majority against the minority.

Gahh...
Stupid parents.
Stupid adults.
Why won't they just listen to me?
I know I'm just a stupid teenager...
But please! I think my idea's through.
Please don't just reject them because I'm young.
It's already 2 against 1.

People always tell me that I should be closer to my parents.
That I should try to be a better daughter.
That I should talk to them.

But they are so goddamn infuriating.

Every conversation ends with someone's feelings hurt.

And every time it's their feelings that are more hurt than mine, they try to fix it. But they way they fix it is an attack on me.
You need to change. You're wrong. You can't act like this anymore.
It's like they think I'm out of control. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A BAD KID IS.
Stop telling me I'm not good enough.
I believe you. Every time.
Even if those aren't the exact words said, it's all I hear.

My dad is much more favored than my mother to me.

I'd like to talk to you, if you weren't on the devil's side, papa.
I'd like you to be my best friend, if you could just keep my words to yourself, daddy.
I'd like things to be as they used to, when I didn't need "fixing," father.
I'd like to think you were on my side.
I know you just want the best for me.
I know you don't see this.
But I'm not a baby anymore. I'm not perfect, not even close.
You don't need to teach me to work hard, I do my best already.
I'd just like a little break, can I get that?

I hide how I feel.
You have taught this to me.
Because when I was small, and something was wrong, I hated to see the hurt in others eyes because of my tears.
It is what you do too.
Sadness doesn't always need to be solved right away.
It doesn't need to be analyzed.
It just needs a hug.
A hand to hold, and not to be alone.
That's all.
I don't need your words of wisdom.

Hmmm... I dunno what I'm saying anymore.
I just wish when someone said I'm good enough that I'd believe them, rather than in my head hear all the things wrong with me.

Alrighty. So yesterday I did not do any of the homework I needed to.
Today I will. Really. I NEED TO.

I just want the week to be over and done with.
The next 30 years over and done with.
None of it matters or makes a difference.

I don't want to hurt anyone.
Yet I do. So often.

Well I'm just being dumb. Stupid and foolish as always. Let's focus the anger on myself, so no one else has to feel the wrath.
I'm going to really do my homework.
Goodbye, goodnight.
Spread the smiles, I love you too.