Distractions.

So. First I must say that strapless bras are not very comfortable.
I don't even know why I am wearing it. It's not like it matters... I'm wearing a big huge hideous jacket...
Ah. I don't know. I'm just losing my mind.
Ha. Okay.

Well anyways....
I have found a perfect distraction. Balloono. :)
I have lost hours because of this stupid game.
But it's perfect.
It keeps my mind occupied so I don't go thinking about things that never end well.
It's keeping me sane. At least enough that no one notices how incredibly little amount of sanity is actually left.

Though it also distracts me from doping what I should do...
Like my online classes.
Because I want to finish those before I leave for Sweden, but.... they really aren't going very fast.
Haha.... :)

So recently I have been talking to Cricles a bit often.
He say the worst things.
They make me miss him more than I'd like.
But he says he wants to hang out sometime... And I think I'd like that.
But... I kind of think it's a bad idea.
Stupid girlfriends. No. Just his is stupid.
I really don't like her.
Grrr.
I have reason too, not just because they're together. I promise..
:/

I wish I could drive already! GODDAMN.
Or at least my friends could.
But they're all lame and decided not to get their permit till like now, even though most of them could have gotten it last summer! They should have had their licenses for a couple of months by now!
Haha... Oh well.

Hmm... I hate not knowing some things.
Not knowing if someone really has an issue with you. They're just hiding it.
I do it. All the time. But it's easier for me that way.
I can change for someone, or keep something for their connivence.
So I always wonder if someone is doing the same for me... Because they don't need to.
Ah I dunno.

I wish I could just straight out ask anything I like.
Or just be able to know.
:/

Hmmm...
So my mother has been gone since yesterday.
She's not coming back till sunday, I think.
And I am stuck being my brothers' babysitter because my papa must work.
It sucks.
I hate my brothers. They are such assholes.
They enjoy causing me pain.
I think one of them is like psychopathic. The other is just an ass, he is just stupid.
But the littlest one, I just don't understand why the hell he has to be so mean.
Up till recently, everyone would be extra harsh on him because he is a big trouble maker. I had always been the one to make sure he was alright, or stand up for him, or whatever I could do to make him feel better. Now though, he just has no fucking respect for me. Yes he's 7, but that doesn't excuse his assholeness.
Anyways. Back to my mother.
She's gone. And once she comes back she's leaving like the next day again. And I have to watch them again. And before she left now, she had just been on another trip.
They don't even ask if I'll watch them.
Well they do.
But no is not something I can answer with.
So. They shouldn't even bother asking because it just makes me angry.

Haha. I'm done now.
SPREAD THE SMILES. :D
Drink Dr. Pepper. Yumm.