Unbalanced.

So. I really don't know what to say.
I can't describe this feeling.
It's like no feeling.
It's like numb.
But I know there is more.
I just don't wanna go there.
So I'm leaving it alone.
Letting it grow till I can't ignore it anymore.

I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and tied to my leg is a bag of these feelings and thoughts hanging off the cliff, and I could reach down and cut it off and let them fall, but I'm to afraid of falling off also, so instead I'm just standing till the pull of the bag gets to be too much.

If that makes any sense...

Today was good. My friend and I sat at a coffee shop for like 3 hours. And just talked about random things.
Last night was good also.
Tomorrow should be good.

I feel like summer is going to be over to soon.
I feel like there isn't enough time for everything.
I feel like I'm running out of time.

Hmmm...
I don't know.
I'm mad at myself.
I just don't wanna deal with it right now.
So I'm just trying to ignore it.

I want to not care.
So I'm trying to act like it.
I'm just sick of all the back and forth in my mind.
I just want it gone!
I can't take it.
I just need a break from my insanity.
So yeah...
Idk.

I just feel unbalanced.
Like not towards one way or another.
Just all over the place.

I'm just scared that if I keep feeling like I have been I'll get stuck again.
So I'm just trying to block out all feelings.

Well... I'm going to go now. Goodnight.
Spread the smiles. Drink coffee.