Nothing but the wind.

Hate people.
I feel dizzy.
Idk if it's because I have bad circulation or just going insane.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Haha I pick that I'm going insane.

I dunno what to do.
My friends are losing it. I'm losing it.

What I'd really like is to be out in the middle of nowhere.
No people.
Just a notebook, pencil, and a bottle of pills.
Perhaps a camera also.
Just so I can think. And see where I take myself.
See what I come up with.

I had to decide that I was okay with the world being shit before.
I stick to that.
I have to not care because otherwise I fall in a pit of never-ending sorrow.
I can't do that. Because I know where that leads and I don't approve of that ending.
It's not a story I can be okay with.

I have to put myself down. Because thats what I deserve.
And otherwise I'd be constantly disappointed.
I guess I am already anyways, but I just try to not focus on myself.
It never leads to a good place. Never.

People make me so crazy.
I don't want to fucking talk to you.
I don't want you to change.
I miss the old you.
I think I'm losing you.
I think you're trying to get rid of me.
I want you to be okay.

You hurt.
You lie.
You seek attention.
You can't see the good, ever.

I just don't know.
Don't know.
No. No. No.
I can't.

Happy mothers day.
I know I should be nicer to you.
You think I'm a good kid.
But not the kid you wanted.
I'm not popular.
I'm not cheerful.
I'm nothing you wanted.
I'm not you.
I'm sorry that I can't be what you hoped for.
I'm sorry I let you down.

Goodbye.
Spread the smiles.