How?

So... I realize I have been gone for a bit.
Honestly all I have been doing is stupid goddamn history. AP test on friday. I'm preparing to fail. UGH. My best friend today, was sitting there complaining about how on the practice tests she does worse than everyone except me. :( Gee thanks. That's a real confidence booster. Bleh. Whatever. I'm going to fail. No matter what I do will change that.

I hate everything.
Stupid goddamn school.
Stupid goddamn attention whores.
Stupid mother fucking asshole teacher.
Stupid homework.
Stupid secrets.
Stupid life.
Stupid tests.
Stupid weather.
Stupid me.
Stupid people.
BLEH.

Ha I'm sorry. I'll try an not be so goddamn annoying.
Heh. I'm just annoying. I'm sorry, I suggest you just stop talking to me or whatever.

I just don't feel very great.

I just need summer.

Bleh...

Fuck I hate this.

I'm just sleep deprived, stressed, semi-sick, annoyed, you know, the normal.
Haha I'm kind of just an uptight unaccepting unreasonable psychopathic asshole. Lovely.

I fucking hate everything.
Sick of people having sex with everyone.
Sick of people doing drugs even if it's just pot. I don't fucking care, it's not an excuse to do it everyday. I don't even think people should more than like once a month.
Sick of people drinking.
Sick of people thinking they're so awesome.
Sick of my fucking asshole mother.
Sick of all the people who change around people.
Sick of people telling me I'm wrong. I know, okay? Please at least if you're going to say so, tell me how to fix it.
Sick of people enjoying causing harm on others.
I don't like high school.
No, I don't care the this girl had sex with him and gave him a blow job. Honestly if they're happy and not fucking with others emotions I really don't give a fuck, stop trying to make the people involved look bad. Yeah the girl's a slut and the guy's are asses. So what! Let them be. You don't have to fucking get involved. If the girl understands that the guy doesn't fucking give a shit then go the hell a ahead.
No, I don't want to go smoke with you and your ex-girl friend.
Yes, I know you're smarter than me, skinnier than me, more interesting than me, prettier than me, better than me in every way. I know I don't compare, you don't need to put me in my place. I know where I belong.
No, I don't have a boyfriend. No, I've never had one. Because I am far to cynical to think it will be all good and happy in the end. The middle may be amazing but it's not worth it. I'm only in high school.
Leave me alone...
I just want to go lay under the sky. And I don't want to ever get back up.

I feel like a little three year old surrounded by teens. I don't understand shit and I'm simply a nuisance. I'm just a little kid, and I'm not supposed to be around these fucking dumbass teens. I'm supposed to be enjoying every little thing I lay my eyes on. But I ventured to far and got stuck in the crowd of teens, lost and small and unseen and I don't know what's going on. Something's not right. Really fucking broken. How'd this happen....?

How the hell did it get to this?
And this isn't even comparable to bad, how?
How...?




IDK. I'm sorry. Just stop reading these. :)
Bye.
Spread those smiles.