The enemy doesn't understand "Go away."

Somebody stole my brain and mushed it all up with a hammer.
Then they were so kind to return it to me.
When it no longer has any use to me.
I'd prefer them to keep it.

I feel so angry.
But there is nothing to be angry at.
And the reason I'm mad is really stupid.
And just gives me more reason to be.
And I'm just so goddamn irritating. And it irritates everyone else.
And they're suffering and I am too. And someone just out to put a bullet through my fucking skull.
Not really... But I wish someone could kill that stupid part of me. That goddamn irritating part that just fucking gets in the way and messes up everything. The part of me that keeps me feeling so isolated. So hopeless and alone. So damaged. So fucking screwed up.
I want that part of me gone.
I don't know how to escape it.
I don't know how I can possibly escape myself.
That's always been the dilemma.
How does one get away from one's own self?

Why can't I just say okay and be content?
Just let everything go.

I was not made to be close to people.
And I don't want to be with many.
But I wish I could just maintain being close with like 1 or 2 people. Goddamn.

I wish I could just tell what's reasonable, what's crazy, what's okay, what's wrong, what's true, everything...
I just wish I could be perfect for someone.
And they could be for me.
And I wouldn't push them away.
And they wouldn't let me walk away.
And they'd understand all my weird ways of thinking and describing things...
I dunno.

My crazy just makes everyone leave.
And I guess it's more me leaving then them.

Well... Goodnight.
Spread the smiles.
I love you.